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 Call of Duty XP event in LA 9/2-9/3

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Join date : 2011-06-22

PostSubject: Call of Duty XP event in LA 9/2-9/3   Thu Jun 30, 2011 5:04 am

They will have demos of multiplayer.

It costs a few bucks...Rob, you must attend and report back.
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PostSubject: Re: Call of Duty XP event in LA 9/2-9/3   Wed Jul 13, 2011 4:22 pm

I'll go to that when I'm dead. By that I mean, going to an event like that could be detrimental to the sanctity of Love Team. You know some laser brain or a series of Laser Brains who we've trampled will be there. I'd be unsafe there. Just think: Dude-Smooching Goths shoot up schools for less. Let me cite an excerpt from my new screenplay (XP Event: Deathtrap for Noobs):


INT Daytime - COD XP Event- Giant Convention Center - Anytown USA

CUT TO: JAMES PIGSTICK a young bearded middle eastern looking man. JAMES is shaped like an upside-down candy corn; stout upper body with a useless and basically for show lower body. Confident, clearly a physical menace. He is cautiously entering the event facility. This is clearly not a setting for an athletic and popular personality like this. Oh... and he's pretty good a COD too. Made a lot of enemies. He is wearing a sticker that reads: HELLO: MY NAME IS JIMMY PIGSTICK.

A chubby little turd, SKANKYDOGG, spots his name tag and rapidly approaches James. He's on a mission... to bump James. He lowers his shoulder and connects feebly against his massive and intimidating shoulder structure. SKANKYDOGG rebounds off James as if he just ran into a brick trampoline.

SKANKYDOGG: (with a lisp) Hey bitch, watch where you're going bitch.

JAMES: I'm sorry little dude, but I think you ran into me.

SKANKYDOGG: What the fuck'you jussssth say bitch?

JAMES: I'm not looking for trouble little fella.

SKANKYDOGG: Well you jusssth foun' it bitch.

SKANKYDOGG is methodically surrounded by a handful of other turds with similar chubby/friendless builds. The presumed "alpha dog" of the rag tag flunkies steps forward. He is wearing a seemingly poor-fitting red tee shirt that reads: "Han Shot First". He goes by, BURGIE. He has bitch tits.

BURGIE: I am called Burgie, and we are the (WEED) team because we fuckin' love weed. We know who you are, Jimmy! It's time to pay the kings, Noob!

BURGIE pulls a revolver from his sweat pants, he can barely hold it. SKANKYDOGG and (WEED) Team rush James.

JAMES: Don'!

They surround James all at once. The tactic proves totally useless as James instantly disarms BURGIE and pistol whips the bridge of his zitty nose, rendering him useless. Then simultaneously throws the pistol to a nearby Mall Cop-style security guard, and puts 2 (WEED) Team members in matching unbreakable headlocks.

JAMES (continued): No need for the pills. You can use this to kill yourself, dork.

The Security Guard happily nods with approval

SECURITY GUARD: Thanks James! I'll never forget you!

JAMES: Sure thing kid...

James quickly dismantles the remaining dorks with swift throat chops a la Jason Bourne. He picks up the remaining dweeb, SKANKYDOGG, and hurls him like a football through a Call Of Duty: BlackOps display case shattering it in millions of pieces (like Blops did to COD fans). He triumphantly approaches his downed enemy, carefully stepping around the dispatched (WEED) Team members, one has pissed his jeans and is crying. A sexy ASIAN DISPLAY CHICK looks on... hot and ridiculously bothered.

JAMES: Skanky D... I didn't want this. It's just a game. Let's end this nonsense.

SKANKYDOGG: NO! It's not...b-b-b-bitch. It's m-m-more than a game. This is for Master Chiiieeef!

SKANKYDOGG pulls a Hello Kitty Swiss Army Knife and tries to shank James in his traps, breaking the blade like a plastic fork.

SKANKYDOGG (continued): Ooooh goooooood!

JAMES: God's got nothing to do with it.


JAMES: You first.

JAMES punches SKANKYDOGG so fucking hard, that his face explodes like a Gallagher watermelon. The onlooking crowd, including the ASIAN DISPLAY CHICK, cheers wildly.

JAMES: Game over.


JAMES: Rachael?!?!

To be continued...

(written while listening to the Gladiator soundtrack)

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PostSubject: Holy shit   Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:52 pm

Well, that was certainly one way to respond to that post.

Maybe you can actually film that when you're at the event testing the game out.
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