Day 1: In the shit

12/4/98 - 13:00 hours - Somewhere in the desert.

Why are we here man? What did we do to deserve this? Right when I arrived, my old PT buddy, Trash Barrel said to me, "Welcome to hell". He was right. I thought it was going to be a few guys sittin' around playin' cards. Looks like my aim was a little off. We're in the shit.

My C/O, Capt. Hardpole just informed the boys and I that we're gonna be neck DEEP in the shit for another month. That's not good news... at all. Every night, I hear the hodgies creeping around, plotting to wipe out me, Tex, Bad T, Hard Time, and Snippy. You need to be alert at all times because Poonji Wakakalaka don't want nothin' more than to cut your goddamn head off with a dull curvy knife that looks like a banana. Not when I'm on watch Habib.

While on watch last night, I saw one of them dirty little kids take a crap right there in the street, then put it in a paper bag. I really hope that ol' Akbar is going to take the shit bag over to old man Balablava's place, light it on fire, and drop it right there on the porch. You never know, he could be using it to make a stink bomb and lay it under one of our jeeps. Welcome to the shit.

All I want is to get back to my wife, Gena and make serious sex to her. I'm comin' back to you, baby...I'm comin' back. Gotta go get me some chow.

J Pigstick